Therapy
by PhosX
Summary: Temari and Kankurou drag Gaara to child therapy to try to fix his little anger issues. Unfortunately there are evil elevators, insane doctors and somebody murders Mr. Moomoo! Sasuke's savior arrives! Hentai no Jutsu?
1. The Madness Begins

This is my first Naruto fic...Technically not my first fic, kind of is if you count the 3 year space. Oh well. I really don't know how I came up with this. The insanity. Enjoy. Oh, and this takes place in the Hidden Village of the Leaf. Why? I really don't know. And, there may be oocness. Deal with it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto sob, I'd love to own Neji though...

Therapy

"Come _on,_" urged Temari as she dragged her demon infested sibling through the doors of a large building labeled, 'Child Therapy'.

"Yeah Gaara, we're doing this for your well being, as well as everyone else's," Kankurou said, closely following behind Gaara to make sure he didn't escape.

"Rather for your own well beings..." he mumbled as he was plopped on a couch in the waiting room. As soon as Temari and Kankurou sat down, they were greeted by an overly happy nurse-lady.

"Why, hello there children!" she practically yelled with a toothy grin, "Do you have an appointment, or has one of you decided that the world hates you and you want to commit suicide and need immediate attention?"

"Well Gaara here-" The nurse-lady interrupted Temari.

"Or has one of you reached sexual maturity and need help figuring things out?" She smirked.

"I told you the people here were pedophiles, but does either of you listen to me? Of course not.." Gaara whispered.  
"Gaara has an appointment with Dr. Chimers." Temari told the nurse-lady, aggravated.

The nurse-lady nodded told them to follow her and proceeded to skip down the hallway to the elevator room. The siblings exchanged looks and reluctantly followed. When they reached their destination, Gaara's eyes widened and beads of sweat began to pour from his forehead. There was evil in that room, an evil that made memories rush through poor Gaara's mind.

"Is something wrong sweetie?" the nurse-lady asked with that scary toothy smirk.

Kankurou glanced at Gaara. "Ehm, do you have stairs? Gaara _really _doesn't do elevators. He had... a bad experience, and I-"

"Really now! Well Gaara, you've got to face your fears!" the nurse-lady said as she shoved Gaara and his siblings into an elevator. She then pressed a button marked 'Floor Five'.

'_Oh God, why? This lady is going to get it.' _Kankurou thought as he noticed Gaara's changing expressions. He assumed he was remembering that one day...

Unfortunately for Gaara the elevator moved extremely slow. Unfortunately for the nurse-lady Gaara wasn't happy. At all. Unfortunately for Temari and Kankurou they got covered in...stuff as 'Sabaku Kyuu!' and 'Sabaku Sousou!' rang throughout the building.

"Gaara!" Temari and Kankurou glared at him.

"Well sorry, but she was going to get it eventually," he retorted.

Kankurou sighed, "Now how do we find Dr. Chimers office?"

Temari coughed and pointed to a large door with a large golden label with large silver letters that read 'DR.CHIMERS OFFICE OF CUDDLY FUN!'

"Oh..." Kankurou and Temari then proceeded to drag Gaara to Dr. Chimers office of cuddly fun. They were greeted by an also overly happy doctor.

"Helloo! You must be Gaara! Aren't you a cutie! Please sit down!" Dr. Chimers looked at Temari and Kankurou, and asked, "Who are you? Only one precious child at a time!"

"No, no. We _have _to be here. Bad things happen if we're not," Temari told him. Kankurou nodded in agreement.

"Oh, well. Fine! As you know, I'm Dr. Chimers!" the 30 year old, pink haired, male doctor told them all too enthusiastically. "Please sit down!" He pointed to a pink fluffy couch. They sat. "So how are you today, children?"

"Fine..." Gaara mumbled.

"Okay..." Temari started to think maybe this wasn't a good idea anymore.

"I'm not sure," Kankurou said, eyeing the prissy doctor suspiciously.

"And how does this make you feel?" Dr. Chimers inquired, getting up in the siblings' faces.

"...Fine..." Gaara grunted.

"...Okay..."

"I really have no idea."

Dr. Chimers smirked. "Well then! That's good! So, what's your issue?"

"Well, you see...When Gaara has this anger issue, when he gets mad, he kills. Kankurou and I feel this is dangerous for our- I mean, others' health." Temari explained.

"Oh, naughty, naughty, naughty Gaara! We do not kill people to cure our anger!" Dr. Chimers scolded. "Now how would you feel if one of you siblings did this to you?"

"I'd kill them."

"No! We do not kill people for no reason!" The doctor scolded again.

"I have to prove my existence. That's my reason. I must know why I exist."

"Well, you see...you exist because you daddy got naked and then your mommy got naked and then your mommy and daddy got on a bed and your daddy put his-"

"We _know _that!!" Temari screamed, wide eyed.

"Oh! Good then! How does this make you feel?" Dr. Chimers smirked.

"It makes us feel as if you're a sick demented pervert," said Kankurou. His siblings nodded in agreement.

"So, Gaara, why do you feel this need to kill?"

"Well, I had this bad childhood and everything. You know, everyone hates me because I have this demon inside of me. I couldn't control what my sand did and I killed people accidentally." Gaara sighed.

"God child! You sound like one of those little goth punks who constantly complain that the world hates them, nobody loves them and that they attempt suicide every other day! Just look at that horrid eye liner! Seriously now!" Dr. Chimers yelled in disgust.

Right about now Gaara was getting really sick of this so called 'doctor' and began yelling. "It's _not _eyeliner! I have insomnia!"

"Then sleep for god's sake!" The doctor roared back.]

"Haven't you ever heard of me? Gaara of the Sand? I have an evil demon in me! You know, Shukaku. I can't sleep because my personality will be eaten away!

"I see, and how does this make you feel?"

"..."

"Tell him, Gaara," Temari said reassuringly.

"....Sad."

"Why?" inquired Dr. Chimers as he began writing notes.

"No one likes a kid who kills people because he can't control his sand. They don't like kids that have demons inside of them, either. Since I was little I've had people trying to assassinate me," Gaara told the doctor as his siblings stared at him disbelief.

"Did Gaara just say all that?" Kankurou whispered to Temari.

"I...I think," she whispered back.

Dr. Chimers wrote more notes and then spoke again. "And people tried to kill you before because you couldn't control your sand. Why do they try to kill you now?"

"I kill people now to prove my existence," Gaara told him monotonously.

"Mmkay, I'll get back to you on that. Now, Kankurou, knowing Gaara might up and decide to kill you...How do you feel about this? How should Gaara change?"

"Well, he should consider how people feel about being wrapped in sand and squeezed to death and Not. Kill. Them," he answered, unsure if Gaara was going to hurt him now or later.

Dr. Chimers wrote more notes and then glanced at Temari. "And you?"

"Ditto."

Gaara groaned, " You guys are so cruel to me."

"Now, Gaara, have you ever tried a stress ball?" Dr. Chimers handed the glaring boy a cow spotted stress ball. "This is Mr. Moomoo. Say hi to Mr. Moomoo."

"No, and no." Gaara took the stress ball anyway, and then eyed it questionably.

"Now, think thoughts that make you really angry and release your anger by squeezing Mr. Moomoo. He doesn't feel a thing!" Dr. Chimers instructed.

Gaara thought for a bit and then began squeezing Mr. Moomoo with immense strength. Dr. Chimers smirked. "Yes! Your doing it! Good!"

Spoosh.

Mr. Moomoo burst apart and sand sprayed everywhere. Gaara smirked in satisfaction. His siblings just stared, and Mr. Chimers...Well...

"God child!" he cried as his eyes formed tears, "Look what you've done! You've killed Mr. Moomoo! How could you!? How _could _you?! Oh poor Mr. Moomoo! You _monster!!_"

"That felt...really good." Gaara smiled evilly. "Makes me want to kill. You think I'm a monster? I'll show you what a monster I can be! _Sabaku Kyuu!_" Sand began to pour from his gourd and imprison the hysterical doctor. Of course Gaara seemed pretty hysterical himself.

"Gaara! Stop, now!" Temari screeched, "We're here to fix that problem! Not exercise it! Stop! GAARA STOP!!"

"Gaara! Listen to your sister!" Kankurou yelled.

Gaara sighed and the sand began to retreat to Gaara's overly large gourd of bloody doom. "You guys _always _ruin everything, I hope you know."

The distraught doctor just stood there, shaking and wide eyed. The sibling expressions quickly turned into disgusted ones as they noticed the floor and a lot of Gaara's sand was wet. Gaara seemed to be overly disgusted and enraged. "You...You...didn't. Please tell me you didn't." He stuttered.

"He did," Temari said in almost a whisper.

"Aw, man! You've got to be kidding me!" Kankurou shook his head.

"You _pissed _in my sand. _Peed _ in my sand. Do you realize!" Gaara roared.

"Remember Gaara, stay calm," Temari reminded him.

"Do you realize," He began again, "This sand covers my body! My entire body! Do you know how disgusting that is!? Fuck! How could _you?! _I'll kill you!_"_

The wet doctor then began to write notes again. "Truly sorry child," he murmured, "couldn't help myself. How does this make you feel?"

"Angry and violated!"

"Aa. Well, I believe this is the end of this session" Dr. Chimers handed Temari a slip.

"This is?" she asked, staring at the slip.

"Gaara's prescription. Go. Now." The siblings left. Well, except for Gaara, he said he wanted to ask Dr. Chimers a question and forced Temari and Kankurou out and shut the door. The two siblings looked at each other and then put their heads on the door, listening closely.

"Something wrong, Gaara?" the doctor asked, innocently, as if he never violated Gaara's precious sand.

"Oh yeah, there's something wrong all right! _Subaku Kyuu!" _Gaara yelled. Once again sand poured from the gourd and imprisoned Dr. Chimers. Of course, this time it was wet. "How does that feel, doctor?"

"Wet, hard, and tight. What are you going to do?" Dr. Chimers whimpered.

"Well guess what! I'm gonna make that sand squeeze you nice and slow. _Subaku Sousou!" _The wet, nasty sand then began to slowly crush Dr. Chimers' body, causing him to squeal, yes, squeal in pain.

"Stop! Stop! I beg you!"

"So, how does this make you feel, doctor? Scared? Angry? Sad? Regretting you pissed in my sand!?"

Soon the squealing died down, a crunch and splatter was heard, and the wet doctor was obviously dead, for obvious reasons. Gaara walked out of the room, that evil smirk we all know and love plastered on his face. The three siblings then proceeded to leave the large building, using the stairs of course.

"Gaara, that's the third one this month," Temari sighed.

"Well, sorry, but he deserved it. I mean, he _pissed _ in my sand."

"You do realize that when you kill people, all their bodily fluids enter your sand." Kankurou said matter-of-factly.

"...No..."

As the siblings began to walk away from the large building, they noticed the well known and loved team 7. They also noticed Sasuke was wrapped in many layers of ropes.

"You guys going to see Dr. Chimers?' Temari asked them.

"Oh, no. We're going to see Dr. Zilenticky," Sakura told her.

"Good, because Dr. Chimers isn't doing to well." The sibling continued on their merry way until Temari remembered the prescription.

"Oh! Your prescription!"

"Hn." was all Gaara had to say.

"He prescribed...a puppy?" Kankurou said as he peered over his sister's shoulder.

"Excuse me?" Gaara just stared, for awhile. What sort of evil, demon infested, 12-year -old boy would walk around with a cute little puppy? Was that doctor insane? Did he not know that evil, demon infested, 12-year-old boys named Gaara did not go walking around with cute little puppies? A cute little puppy which would need to be cared for and taught to kill with mad skills just as his master uses? A cute little puppy which would have to be named and potty trained? Certainly, this doctor was insane, and dead of course.

"So Gaara, what are you going to name her?" Temari asked as she and her sibling exited the large cute building known as the pet store.

'_A name...,' _he thought, '_Well, this puppy is really cute and all, but cute and evil don't mix! They just don't! Although, PookeyPoo sounds cute, but I want to name her after my favorite girl, Haruno Sakura. Hm... I know! Pookey Poo Sakura! It's so cute it's evil! Which is good, oh so good.'_

"Well?"

"Killer," Gaara replied as he glared at the so-cute-it's-evil puppy.

"Good...name, Gaara." Kankurou wasn't surprised, for he had been expecting that.

So, with that, the three siblings walked off into the sunset with many bags of food and toys and a so-cute-it's-evil puppy named Killer, also known as Pookey Poo Sakura.

------------------------------------------------

Love it? Hate it? Just don't care? Review then. I like reviews, I don't like flames though. Advice, now that's nice! Thanks to Fast-Talking Johnny for fixing any mistakes. So...that means if there's any mistakes, it's her fault! All her fault! ahem I might redo this later...I mean, it's been 3 years since my last fics (which where pretty popular mind you, and I was an annoying 9-10 year old!) I don't know if I'll do more chapters, probably will...just to amuse myself. Very fun to amuse one self. And, one last note, there's probably punctuation mistakes...Oops?


	2. Gaara's Puppy Love

I got reviews, yay! Reviews are good, very good.

**Fast Talking Johnny- Still your fault....kukuku..**

**Naruke- Yeah, I like GaaraxSakura. I like Sakura with a lot of people, heh.**

Durian- Oh yeah, I'll continue. I've got plenty of evil ideas..

**Night-Owl123- Yeah, I'm going to continue with Sasuke...I've decided I might do all the teams...or something. But first we have to see how Gaara's doing with Pookey Poo Sakura.**

**Chibified Kisunes- read above**

Blade Zero- Good..

**theoriginalmooseyfate- mhmm, a puppy.**

**Moonsong k'Shallia- No, they should not...because pink is evil...oh so evil.**

Since I have all the time in the world...kukuku...I can update frequently. Wee. Why am I saying 'kukuku'? Mmkay. I was going to put Sasuke, or rather team 7 in general in this chapter, but I can't think of anything...I need ideas. Give me ideas, or Mr. Spochels shall devour you!

Disclaimer- I don't own Naruto...sigh

**Therapy**

**Chapter 2: Gaara's Puppy Love **

**"Oh yes! Your such a good girl aren't you, Pookey Poo Sakura? Are you going to fetch the pretty stick? Fetch the pretty stick!" Gaara said in an odd girlish voice that would've scared away even the toughest shinobi. He had been playing fetch with his beloved puppy all day in an area all by themselves.**

"Um...Gaara? What are you doing?" Temari asked, suddenly appearing beside the him and his puppy. "How exactly are you 'training' Gaara? I heard a sick dying girl... Don't tell be your killing innocent little girls, again."

"There's no girl here, you probably heard the wind, idiot. I'm training Killer to kill. Want me to prove it? Look." He threw a stick about ten feet away. "Get the stick you stupid mutt! Rip it up! Tear it! Make it scream!"

"Gaara, sticks don't-"

"Silence!" He roared as 'Killer' came back with bits of wood in her mouth. "See? No little girls here. Just me and this stupid mutt."

"Actually, she's a pure bred Saluki with odd pink ears...Her ears weren't pink yesterday. Gaara, did you do something to her?" Temari just stared at her little brother.

"Leave. Now." Gaara glared at her and she quickly left. Fortunately for her he turned around the moment she jumped into a tree to continue her spying. "Good Pookey Poo Sakura! You did a good 'Killer' mode! Just like Daddy taught you!" He cuddled little Pookey Poo Sakura.

"Oh god...I knew it Kankurou. What the heck are we going to do? He's in love with some Sakura chic, but which? I know a few.." Temari told her brother as she sat down on a tree branch.

" What about that Haruno Sakura? Do you think?" He replied as he stared down at their little brother, who was at the time making kissy faces at 'Killer".

"No, not her. It can't be her. How many Sakura's do we know with pink hair?"

"One?"

"Crap. Well, he has officially gone insane. Think the puppy worked to much?"

"Yeah, this bites." Kankurou said, shaking his head.

"What do you guys think your doing?" A voice said from behind them.

"Ack!" Both siblings fell from the tree with a loud thud. Luckily, Gaara was too engrossed with Pookey Poo Sakura to notice. Temari and Kankurou quickly jumped back into the tree and glared at the intruder, otherwise known as Hyuuga Neji.

"I don't like to repeat myself," He said glaring back at the siblings.

"You almost got us killed, you idiot! If he would've heard us-" Temari yelled as quietly as possible.

"Answer me," Neji said.

Kankurou sighed. "We're spying on our little brother, you know, Gaara. He's-"

"Obsessed with Haruno Sakura, talking in a horrid girly voice that sounds like a dying horse, and pretending his dog is Haruno?" Neji finished for him.

"You know that, how?" Temari asked, staring at Neji blankly.

"I'm Hyuuga Neji, I know all. Anyway, that's no reason to be trespassing on my training grounds." He frowned, people were constantly trespassing on his training grounds. How could they miss that giant sign that said 'Hyuuga Neji's effing training grounds. NO EFFING TRESPASSING!!'? Were they blind? Most likely. Possibly stupid even. Walking on _the _Hyuuga Neji's training grounds? Defiantly stupid.

"You expect us to move him? If he saw anyone of us we'd all be dead," Kankurou said.

Neji thought about this for a moment, then said, "true, I suppose. What if you take away the dog?"

"That could work, but what do we do after that? That saluki cost a hefty bit of money, mind you," replied Temari.

"Saluki? Gawd! I love salukis! I'll take her. She could be a royal Hyuuga dog."

Temari and Kankurou stared at Neji for a moment, surprised by his sudden unNeji-like outburst. The trio thought hard, and the planning of the 'Great Stealing of Pookey Poo Sakura' commenced.

About fifteen minutes later, Temari hopped down from the tree and walked toward Gaara, who immediately went into cold b mode. "Now what do you want?" he asked.

"Well you see, that Hyuuga kid just came by and told us that we were invited to go to this restaurant along with _team 7 _and the other teams."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, Kankurou and I really don't want to go, but we thought that we'd ask you anyway."

Gaara thought for a moment. He really didn't want to go. In fact he really detesting going to those things, _but _Sakura would be there. He would get to see his beloved Sakura and stalk her. But what about Pookey Poo Sakura? Would Sakura like Pookey Poo Sakura? Does she dig dudes with dogs? Does she even dig dudes with sand?

"I suppose I'll go. They'll probably be expecting one of us there. I hope you know I hate these kind of things," he said after a while.

"Good. Unfortunately you can't take Killer. They have a no pets aloud rule."

"...Will you take good care of her?" Gaara was cursing in his head now.

"Of course, Gaara."

"When is this thing?"

"Now."

"Aa, I'll be going then." Gaara handed 'Killer' to Temari and hurriedly walked off.

"He really must be obsessed, I didn't even get to tell him where he was suppose to go," Temari told Kankurou and Neji as she hopped back into the meeting tree.

"What an adorable dog!" Neji said as he took Pookey Poo Sakura from Temari. "Pookey Poo Sakura and Killer? Those are her names?" The siblings nodded. "This dog _so _has to be Hyuugafied. I'm going back to my place to begin the process of the royal Hyuugaing." Neji then began to bound off, puppy in arms.

"Who knew such a cold bastard like him could be a dog lover?" Kankurou said.

Temari shook her head. "The world is a messed up place."

Meanwhile, after twenty minutes of hurried walking, Gaara finally realized he forgot to ask where he was suppose to go.

"Effing hell!" he yelled as he began to run back to his, or Neji's training area. After he got back, he noticed his siblings looked worried. "What's wrong? Where's Po- er, Killer?" He demanded.

"Gaara, someone stole Killer," Temari told him.

"What?!" Gaara yelled. Then he remembered he wasn't suppose to act like he really cared. "Well, who stole her?"

"That Neji kid," Kankurou said. Immediately Gaara ran off to kill a certain Hyuuga that stole his beloved puppy.

"You _idiot!_" Why did you tell him that Neji took him? Why?!" Temari yelled.

"Because...he did?"

"I seriously can't believe you."

At the Hyuuga residence

"Doesn't she look beautiful, Hinata-sama?" Neji asked, holding up a now Hyuugafied Pookey Poo Sakura.

"She's adorable Neji-niisan! What's her name?"

"Hizuki," he said as he handed the poor many-named-puppy to Hinata.

"How did you get her eyes all white like that?"

"Hyuugafying no Jutsu," he said, smirking.

"You'll have to teach me that one day, Neji-niisan."

"Of course."

"You!" Gaara roared as he suddenly charged into the room Neji and Hinata were occupying. "You! You stole my puppy! I'll kill you!"

"Neji-niisan, did you really steal his puppy?" Hinata asked, frowning.

"Of course not, I found her."

"Your lying! _Sabuk-"_

_Suddenly, Hinata's father, Hiashi walked into the room. "Now Neji, you know there's a much better way to do this. Hinata, would you?" Hinata ran out of the room._

"Okay...Even though I didn't start it...Gaara of the desert, I challenge you to a Dance Dance Revolution Duel!" declared Neji as he pointed at Gaara, drama included.

"Eh? What the effing hell?" Gaara just stared. These Hyuuga's were defiantly mad. What the effing hell was a Dance Dance Revolution? Why was HInata dragging in a huge flat screen tv and two large metal things with arrows? Why was Neji still pointing at him with more drama than a high school girl?

Neji stepped onto one of the metal platforms, told Gaara to get on the other one, and then told Hinata to start the music.

"Any specific song, Neji-niisan?" Hinata asked.

"Just do random." Hinata did what was told, and some song the authoress cannot remember the name of starting blaring out of the huge surround sound speakers. Poor little Hizuki/Pookey Poo Sakura/Killer had been long gone. All this was too much for her.

"What...what do I do?" Gaara asked, utterly confused.

"Dance!" Neji yelled, already jammin to the beat. Gaara decided that the arrows that flashed on the screen meant to step on the arrows on the metal platform. He attempted to do this many times. After he fell on his face a few times, it all stopped.

"I won!" Neji declared. "593 perfect steps! I am the dance mastah! Gaara, you got....5 perfect? Wow, you suck."

"Job well done, Neji! Gaara, you, as Neji said, suck. Neji keeps Hizuki." Hiashi said, randomly appearing again. Gaara and Neji continued to bicker.

"Father, sometimes I think I liked Neji better as a cold bastard...He seems a bit odd now," Hinata whispered to her father.

"Shush, he has finally gotten to enjoy himself."

"He seemed to be enjoying himself when he was beating the shit out of me..." Hinata grumbled.

Hiashi then disappeared and the Dance Dance Revolution stuff magically disappeared and all was well once again. Or so they thought.

"Where's Hizuki?" Neji asked looking around.

"Hizuki? Her name is Killer! You mean to tell me you stole my puppy and then lost her?!" Gaara roared as he leapt at Neji. Thus beginning the tussle between Gaara and _the _Hyuuga Neji.

Kukukuku...Probably mistakes, I didn't feel like waiting for Fast-Talking Johnny to beta read. I didn't have Hinata stuttering because I've found a lot of people make her stutter too much, which gets annoying...and I didn't want to do that and all. Oi, I still can't think of anything. Ideas? Please? I can get a 4 page chapter done in about 1-2 day(s)...Soo... I'll put in other teams if you want me too and all...They can go see the demented doctors, too. Wee...Kukuku...I really need to stop going 'kukukuku'.


	3. Sasuke's Displeasure

Kukuku...thanks for the reviews, but you gave me few/no ideas! Cruel, cruel people, you make things so troublesome. Well...you gave me the idea of putting the oh-so popular Uchiha boy in this...I wonder if I could get Itachi in here somewhere. Sorry if it's bad...can't think. Oi, oh well, enjoy.

Disclaimer- I do not own Naruto, nor do I own a certain toy that will be mention in the fic.

**Chibified Kitsunes- **Crap! I didn't even notice I forgot about Neji's Byakugan. bangs head off wall I was in such a rush, I forgot.

Kage- Sorry your highness, unlike a lot of people on here I _do _have spell check. Like most people that do have spell check, some times it messes up, and that's in chapter two...I don't feel like reuploading chapter two...deal with it.

Oi oi, I've fixed the Byakugan problem. Sorry 'bout that.

**Therapy**

**Chapter 3: Sasuke's Displeasure  
**

"Hey, hey! Doctor! Your an hour and a half late! You related to Kakashi-sensei or something?" Naruto yelled as a doctor that had looks that screamed 'I'm an effing pedophile people!' walked into the room. Of course we all know that that looks can not scream 'I'm an effing pedophile people!', because looks do not scream, but you all knew that didn't you?

"Well, as you know, since there were those mysterious deaths yesterday, your appointment was canceled, and today I was doing a little mourning. So, I guess your Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke, and Haruno Sakura, right? Your all adorable children, I hope you know!" the pedophileish doctor said.

"Eh...yeah?" Naruto said, staring at Dr. Zilenticky unsurely. Sasuke was staring at the doctor, too. Once again he had been dragged from his home, bound in ropes, and got tape plastered all over his mouth. He had never thought in a lifetime that Naruto would find out that one issue he had, but Sakura was acting weird, too.

"Well, sit down you adorable children!" Dr. Zilenticky told them. They did, reluctantly of course. Then the doctor sat in-between Sasuke and Naruto. Sakura sighed in relief. She had discovered that his looks did not scream, 'I'm an effing pedophile, people!', but they screamed, 'I'm an effing _gay _pedophile, people!!'.

"So, Naruto, why have you brought your friends here?" The gay pedophileish doctor asked.

"Well, I've discovered that Sasuke bastard has this phobia, and Sakura-chan is acting really weird," he replied.

Sasuke's eyes widened. Dr. Zilenticky noticed this and asked, "Oh really? A phobia of what? Oh, and Sakura, would you mind taking off that tape?"

"Yes, I do mind." She ripped it off anyway, making Sasuke whine. "Shove it," she whispered so only he could hear.

"Oh, well he has a phobia of f-" Naruto continued.

"Naruto!" Sasuke yelled. He was panicking now. If Naruto told him he was _so _going to get a Chidori up his butt later.

"Now, now, Sasuke. Let him continue," said Dr. Zilenticky as he patted the poor Uchiha boy's head.

"As I was saying, Sasuke bastard has a phobia of furbies," Naruto said, smirking.

"Oh really! Let's see if this is true!" The doctor whipped out a furby out of no where and slowly inched it towards Sasuke's face.

"EYEAAAAA! Get it AWAY! NARUTO! I'm going to KILL you!" he screamed as he struggled insanely.

Dr. Zilenticky pulled away the furby and said, "Aa. That is pretty bad. Sasuke-kun do you want to come sit in my lap?"

"Um...how about no?" Sasuke retorted as he twitched insanely.

"What a pity. Anyway, Naruto, what's wrong with Sakura?"

"Sakura-chan always had this unhealthy obsession with Sasuke bastard...and now she despises him. I thought it was good at first, 'cuz then I'd have a chance, but it's just kinda weird now," Naruto answered.

"So what? I've just decided that Sasuke bastard isn't with my time anymore, I mean seriously! He's just a cold bastard anyway...And the way he's always going after Itachi, you'd think he was in love or something."

"Hn. I do _not _love my brother," Sasuke grumbled.

"I've seen his brother once or twice, he's pretty cute. A lot more cooler than Sasuke bastard. Lee-kun is better than him, or Neji-kun even!" declared Sakura.

"Ah, well. Sasuke-kun here hasn't even hit puberty. No point on having a crush on someone who hasn't grown anywhere what so ever. Of course, that's okay with me," said Dr. Zilenticky, eyeing Sasuke.

"Eh!?" the trio yelled.

"Why do you two call him Sasuke bastard anyway?" the not-so-innocent doctor asked as he stroked Sasuke's back.

"Because...he is one..." Naruto quickly scooted away from Dr. Zilenticky.

"Naruto! You're practically on my lap!" Sakura yelled, quite annoyed.

"Better than being in his lap!" the disgruntled fox boy whispered. Sakura said no you...not...do that?" Sasuke looked hysterical as the touchy-feely doctor hugged him tightly. "Naruto! Get him off me!" Naruto shook his head. "Argh!"

"Let's see. How should we fix these issues. Hmm..." Dr. Zilenticky thought for a brief few moments. "Well, Sasuke-kun, I'll give you this furby so that you can face your fears! Sakura, go for Itachi, Lee, Neji, whoever you want. You don't need Sasuke-kun."

"Damn straight."

"Well, I guess you adorable children could go now, but first," the sick doctor licked Sasuke cheek. "There. Good bye now!"

Sasuke was horrified. He felt ever so violated, he had been violated in too many ways by this middle aged pedophile. He had to kill this man. This Dr. Zilenticky was now so important , that he felt he had to get his revenge on him more than his own brother, Uchiha Itachi. Unfortunately poor little Uchiha boy was bound in ropes, still. Fortunately, Sakura pitied Sasuke the tiniest bit, and cut the ropes. Naruto was sickened and decided to help, too. With the killing that is.

"_Chidori!"_

"_Rasengan!"_

With that, the doctor was blasted into a wall, fatally wounded, even though he was still alive. Team 7 didn't know that though. So, they left, thinking the fatally wounded doctor was dead, but of course he wasn't. His passionate love for Sasuke was keeping him alive.

Outside the large child therapy building

"Hey, Sasuke bastard, you forgot this," said Sakura as she tossed the evil therapy furby at Sasuke. He caught, not knowing what it was.

"Argh! Do I really have to keep this thing? It just keeps...staring at me. It's creepy," he whined.

"Feed me! Aah ahh! I'm hungry! Aah ahh! I'm going to kill you! Aah ahh!" the evil furby said.

Sasuke's eyes widened. "Did...did you guys hear that? Oh my gawd! It's going to kill me!"

"Sasuke, it's just hungry, alls you have to do is put your finger in it's mouth. Watch." Sakura took the furby and proceeded to 'feed' it. "See? Nothing bad happened." She handed the furby back.

"Do I have to go home with this thing? Alone? Naruto, Sakura?" He looked around, his team mates had suddenly disappeared. "Naruto!? Sakura?! Noooo!" But then Sasuke came up with idea! A good idea, too! He took out a kunai and shoved it into the furby and ran far, far away to a place called his apartment.

As soon as the frightened Uchiha boy arrived at his apartment, he flicked on the lights and sat on his bed and sighed, "thank gawd I got rid of that thing. Stupid furby."

Then the lights went out.

The room went black.

"No light! Scary!" a very familar voice echoed throughout the apartment.

Then the evil furby appeared on Sasuke's chest, the kunai used earlier in it's...hand. Even though furbies lack hands.

"EYEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!" Sasuke's scream was heard all around Konoha.

At the Hyuuga residence

Gaara and Neji stopped their very long tussle. "Did you hear that? That sounded like Sasuke getting attacked by an evil furby with a kunai!" Neji said.

"How do you know that?" Gaara asked, staring at him blankly.

"How many times do I have to say? I'm _the _Hyuuga Neji! I know all! Should we save him?"

"Shouldn't he be able to fend off a furby on his own?" Gaara grunted

"Many people don't know, but since I'm _the _Hyuuga Neji, I know. He has a phobia of furbies."

"Furbies? You've got to be kidding me."

"I kid you not."

"Well...let's go then. I'll finish kicking your sorry ass later."

Gaara and_ the _Hyuuga Neji then ran off to help the poor, poor Uchiha boy getting attacked by an evil furby.

At the large child therapy building

Shino was just about to open the door to Dr. Zilenticky's room. He was so excited. Finally he would get to pour out his heart to someone who would understand. He had so many secrets. So many secrets that he needed to tell somebody who would understand!

"EYEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!"

The fatally wounded doctor suddenly awoke. "Gasp! My precious Sasuke is being attacked by the evil furby I gave him! I must save him!" With that, the blood covered doctor ran out of his room, scaring the hell out of Shino, and ran down the hall screaming things about saving Sasuke.

Shino pouted. "Doctor! Doctor! Wait! I have to talk to you! Come back!" he yelled as he chased after him.

Back at Sasuke's apartment

"Aah. Me feel all better," the evil furby said, somehow grining evilly. The evil furby, now named Mookah had sliced Sasuke's beautiful face up.

"Glad you do, 'cuz I don't," Sasuke said, trembling insanly.

Suddenly there was banging on the door and Gaara's voice was heard.

"Hey! Uchiha! you alright in there? The door's locked."

"No!" _I didn't lock the door..._

Then the furby got an evil idea. Mookah started making various sex sounds, such as 'Oooh, aaaah, OOooaah,' and so on.

"Eh!?! What are you doing!?" Sasuke yelled at Mookah.

"Er...Uchiha? What are you doing in there?" Gaara asked. He turned around and whispered to Neji, "I thought you said he was being attacked by a furby....Sounds like he's having fun in there."

"That can't be true! I'm always right!" Neji whispered back.

"Then use your Byakugan, idiot."

"Oh yeah. _Byakugan!_"

"Well?" What do you see," Gaara asked.

"Gasp! My Byakugan can't see through the building. That must be one evil furby..."

"My precious Sasuke-kun!" Dr. Zilenticky yelled as he ran towards Neji and Gaara. Shino was following closely behind.

"What the...?" Gaara stared at the blood covered doctor. "How many lovers does Uchiha have?"

Inside the apartment, Sasuke was despretly trying to get the evil moaning furby to shut up. "Shut up! Please shut up!" He wanted to whack the furby, but he feared for his life. But suddenly, a window shattered and Sasuke's savior stood before him.

Oi, too short. I think. Who saves Sasuke? Has Sakura decided she loves him again? Gaara? Neji? Dr. Zilenticky? And what happened to Pookey Poo Sakura / Killer / Hizuki? Don't forget to give me ideas. Geez...how many times did I say bastard in this? looks 10...eh heh. Whats with the little star thingies not working the or whatever...evil things..

**Daisaigai 697832- **My dear friend, do you even know what's going on? Do you even know about the greatness of Naruto? stare

**Chibified Kitsunes- **Nah, just because he likes Salukis. He's forgiven the main house in this fic.

Thank you, everyone else, for reviewing!


	4. Sasuke's Savior, Super Lee

Gah! I'm sooorry. So, so sorry. I got lazy, school started and my mum is home when I get home. What do you expect? Oh, I'm also in the midst of getting my friends obsessed with Naruto. Yes, Fast-Talking Johnny, Daisaigai and I _will _convert you to the wonderfulness of Naruto. If you like Yu-Gi-Oh -shudder- I'm sure you can like Naruto. Anyway!

**Naruke- -sniffle- You called me Kage-sama. I feel...so...so...special! I love your ideas! Love them I tell you! But, Naruto and Sasuke having steamy man sex? Why not Sasuke and Neji having steamy man sex? Why?! People need to do more _good _(keyword there is 'good') SasuNeji luff fics. Wait a minute...aren't they all young is this fic? Oh well...I'm evil and perverted! I can think of crap!**

**AyumuOsakaKasuga- Yay! More ideas. Everyone knows that I love ideas. Everyone nod now.**

**YoungSasuke- It got free?! That's a bad thing, ya know. 'Cuz I used one of my 6. Yes, I said 6. People wonder why I don't want any electronic animals in my room.....**

Thanks everyone else for the reviews! I love you! Oh and what's up with the little asterisks (or whatever they're called) not working?! Why!? Why!? -ahem-

Disclaimer- You should know by now...Neji is mine...Naruto is not....kukuku. Oh, and I've stolen Kiba so that we know what Hizuki is saying. Note that she cannot speak English!

**Therapy**

**Chapter 4**

**Sasuke's Savior and Super Lee**

**"What the...?" Sasuke said as he stared at his little white eyed savior. **

"I'm saving you!" Hizuki told him.

"Er...your saving me?"

"Yeah, get your cold bastard ass out of here! Now!" _Wow, I think he gets what I'm saying._

"Mmkay..." Sasuke quickly jumped through the window. Not without getting cut, of course. "Dammit..." He brushed him self off and then looked up "Not you! NO!"

Back inside, Hizuki began madly attacking Mookah. After getting a lashing from Mookah, she jumped back and growled menacingly at him.

The furby smirked and said, "Stupid dog! You can never beat me you stupid mutt!"

"_Byakugan!_" she growled as veins emerged around her eyes. Mookah raised a brow that he lacked.

"A dog using _Byakugan_? Interesting. Still not good enough to defeat me though! Kwahaha! Me will kill you!"

As Hizuki was just about to lunge at the deranged furby, Neji randomly poked his head through the window. "Come on Hizuki! Show that furby what we practiced!" Then he disappeared.

Outside

"So, Neji, is my Pookey-Poo Sakura alright? Did that furby hurt her?" Gaara urgently asked.

"It's Hizuki. Anyway, she has a few cuts a bruises, but once she uses _Hakke Rokujuu Yonshou_, she'll be fine."

"Pookey-Poo Sakura?"

"S-Sakura?" Gaara's eyes widened as he stared at the pink haired girl that stood before him. "When did you get here?

"Sakura-chan and I came here because we heard a sound that sounded like Sasuke getting attacked by a furby with a kunai. Isn't that weird?" Naruto said as he walked up behind Sakura.

"Is Sasuke-kun alright?" Sakura looked around. "What happened to the furby?"

"Um...I believe he's getting molested by that Dr. Zilenticky guy," Neji said, pointing. Since was _the _Hyuuga Neji, he knew that Gaara had a huge crush on Sakura. So, he decided that he was going to be nice for once. "Oh, and you know what, Sakura? Gaara's puppy, Killer, saved him from the _evil _furby."

Gaara averted his stare to Neji, who just smirked. "Wha..?"

"Really Gaara-kun? You sent your puppy in to save Sasuke-kun? Thank you!" Sakura said as she hugged Gaara. "Well, I suppose I should save Sasuke-kun. Want to help, Gaara-kun?"

It took Gaara a moment to answer her. He was in heaven. Being hugged and called 'Gaara-kun' in the same day by his beloved crush? Who would've imagined? "Y-yeah. Sure."

"You two do that, Naruto and I will go see how the puppy is doing," Neji said. Then he turned around and grabbed Naruto. "Won't we?" he growled.

"Eh? No!! I want to see Sasuke bastard get molested!" the fox boy whined as he was dragged through a window.

Over where Sasuke was being molested

"Get off of me! Off!" Sasuke yelled.

"I will not. Your making me so hot, Sasuke-kun," Dr. Zilenticky said as he flicked his tongue towards the poor Uchiha boy's face.

"There is no god...there is no god...EW! Get that thing away from me! Heelp!"

"Sasuke-kun!" Sakura yelled as she ran towards the two. Gaara was behind her, pouting.

"Are they...in...Speedos?" Gaara asked.

"....."

"Sakura?! Help me! He's trying to have steamy pedophileish man sex with me!" Sasuke uncharacteristically whimpered.

Sakura stopped, looked at Gaara and then asked, "Since I'm extremely pathetic and can't do anymore than perfect chakra control, and useless basic skills, could you save Sasuke-kun?"

Gaara really wanted Sasuke to just get molested to death, but it was a request from his precious Sakura, so of course, he had to. "Okay..."

"GET HIM OFF ME!!"

Gaara sighed, "_Sabaku Kyuu!_" Immediately the Speedo clad doctor was wrapped in sand. The sand then levitated above the ground and then threw Dr. Zilenticky off some distance.

"Thanks Gaara-kun!" She hugged him again and then quickly ran to see the disturbed Sasuke.

Gaara glared and then murmured to himself, "Uchiha...you take what is precious away from me...I _will _get lessons from you..."

Inside....where was it? Sasuke's apartment?

"Good Hizuki, I see you've killed the furby," Neji said as he picked up Mookah and threw him out the window. "You're the best branch house dog ever!"

"Oi, oi! That was interesting, but seeing Sasuke bastard getting molested would've been more interesting," Naruto complained.

Neji arched a brow and said, "You probably would enjoy molesting Uchiha yourself."

"Shut up! Besides! You know you would, too!!" Naruto argued.

"Who says I haven't already?"

"Eh!?"

"Ever stalked him before? Very, very fun. I'm going to do so tonight. Care to join me?" Neji asked, smirking.

"Eh...sure..."

"Bring tissues."

"What!? For!?"

"Nosebleeds, idiot."

"Oh..."

Back outside to where Shino and Lee are...I think

"What's this....?" Shino asked himself as he picked up the dead furby. "Poor thing...I'll fix it, and finally I'll have someone to talk to!"

"Eh? Aren't those things evil?" Super Lee questioned.

"When did you get here, Super Lee?"

"I heard a sound that sounded like Sasuke getting attacked by a kunai and I rushed here." His teeth went 'ping!'.

"Oh, anyway, I don't care if it's evil! I need to pour my heart out to somebody or something!" Shino then proceeded to run away.

"Jeez, and people call me weird...Hm, I should go see Gai-sensei!" With that Super Lee flew off to see his heartthrob...er...sensei.

Back to where Sakura and Sasuke are

"Sakura? I thought you hated me...," Sasuke said, arching a brow.

"I thought it over a bit, and decided to have an unhealthy obsession with you again!"

Sasuke looked up at Gaara, and said, "Gaara, did you really save me? That dog, it was yours, was it not?"

"Yes and yes." Gaara would've arched a brow if he had one. Sasuke was staring at him with odd, soft eyes.

"Gaara...you really..." Sasuke got up and hugged him. Sakura and Gaara's eyes widened in horror.

"Gyah! Uchiha! Your in an effing Speedo! Get away!"

"Sasuke...what are you..." Sakura's eyes filled with tears.

Suddenly a man in a cloak jumped out of no where.

"What the effing hell?" Gaara said, annoyed.

"Bwahaha! _Hentai no Jutsu_!" the man yelled, and then ran away laughing hysterically.

Ack! I almost forgot!

Dr. Zilenticky was lying there again, fatally wounded, but as we all know he was still clinging to life because of his passionate love rage to have pedophileish man sex with that oh-so-sexy Uchiha.

"_Hentai no Jutsu!_" the same cloaked man yelled. He ran away again, laughing hysterically.

"What hell was that, in my pants?" Dr. Zilenticky mumbled, and then fell unconscious.

Of course you should know by now that all the characters in this fic got attacked by the weird man in a cloak. What is _Hentai no Justu_? Why did Dr. Zilenticky end his sentence with 'in my pants'? Your all smart people, figure it out.

Yeah, yeah, sucky chapter, I think. I need to stop making such long author's notes. -sweatdrop- Next chapter, 'What?! Hentai no Jutsu?!' Possibly a new female doctor appears next chapter. Woot! Might be mistakes, I quickly read through, gomen! I like to mess around with pairings, too, as if you didn't notice. I'll put any pairing you like except for NejiTen. I _hate _NejiTen with a passion. I'm a NejiSaku/Sasu/Hina fan, ooh yeah.


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